Deal of a lifetime

For Immediate Release
Business Editors & Lifestyle Editors, and Genealogy Buffs
CONTACT: PR Dept.

Gilliam & Gilliam Announce Acquisition

Company Pronounces “This is our Last Deal.”

AUSTIN, TX– (BUSINESS WIRE)—May 15, 2010—In the midst of global recession, Gilliam & Gilliam LP (G&G) again blazes a new trail, announcing today its latest ambitious acquisition. The new entity, known as Eden Corporation (NASDAQ: BABY), will be led by its founder, Eden Kristine Gilliam.

“After a full day of negotiations, we were able to push this deal through quickly.” said Jonathan Gilliam, Motivation Specialist at parent firm G&G. “Once agreed to by all parties, it came through in record time.”

“I am so excited I think I’m going to throw up,” stated Eden Gilliam, 7 days old.

Product delivered on schedule.

The agreement was finalized at 10:20pm on May 15, 2010. Weighing in at 7.3 lbs and 20 inches, G&G expects a lot of noise in the market.

Gilliam continued, “Our Managing Partner Leanna Gilliam (aka ‘The Boss’) once again gets the credit for this project. We couldn’t be more pleased with this incredible product.”

Last of three deals

Following the resounding success of first merger at G&G with Anabelle, Inc. and the subsequent spin-out of AvaLee Enterprises, this latest transaction was a surprise to all parties.

“There was a lot of hair on this deal, but we immediately welcomed Eden Corp to the Gilliam family…of companies.”

Having completed the last corporate transaction more than 5 years ago, Management admits it is a bit out of practice and has asked the newly acquired entity for maintenance instructions, however Eden Corp. has refused to provide any assistance. “A how-to manual was not part of the deal,” said Eden.

Competitive Concerns

“The disruption of our current business model had us concerned,” stated Anabelle and Ava Gilliam, 8 and 5 respectively. “This transaction will however provide much more leverage for the sister companies, as Management is now outnumbered.”

Eden Gilliam responded with a cute giggle. “The first two deals they did paved the way for me – this should be a cake walk.” she said. “My business model has always been disruptive; no one should doubt my ability to shake things up around here.”

She then cried.

For their part, Anabelle Inc. and Ava Lee Enterprises agreed to minimize organizational infighting and share resources as needed. They will return to her primary roles at the firm, Household Object Resilience Testing Engineers, a role that appears to focus on mainly on expensive glassware and fine china.

Deal valuation

Analysts valued the deal at Priceless. In an unusual move, the parties have drawn up no paperwork and will commence the agreement with nothing more than a finger shake, coupled with the standard spit-up clause. When asked about the risky move, Eden said “I didn’t see anyone else sticking their own foot in a pad of wet ink.”

While very optimistic about prospects of the new endeavor, Management has made a final decision about its future. “Sometimes you need to just make a cut or two to protect against further production,” said Managing Partner Leanna Gilliam, an opinion that did not sit comfortably with her partner. Most industry experts agree that a painful cut is not always the most pleasant to implement.

 “Yes it seems as if our space is way too crowded now,” Said Gilliam. “But there’s no question — this is the deal of lifetime.” 

 Never one to miss a photo-op, Eden Kristine Gilliam (age in photo: 35 minutes) takes time to welcome her new partners the combined Gilliam entities. Said Eden, “I’m gonna make them sooooooo happy.”

For more photos on this story, click here.

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